I've never been so grateful as when the look-out announced the sight of land. Or so embarassed as when, shortly thereafter, I tried to walk on that land. And there, again, was Cavan, the half-elf I mentioned before. Handsome as ever, and just as steady on his feet.
Something in me just snapped while that Gallion fellow was explaining the quest he wants us to go on. I suddenly realized just how much easier my life would be... if I didn't have to spend every waking moment worrying that I would fail this quest. I still would protect Tillyr, of course, out of loyalty and affection--she is my dearest friend here, and her innocence and kindness would be all that was required to make her worthy of protection even if she weren't. But a large part of me begs to be released from these bonds, this tether of duty. I have sworn my allegiance, certainly, and I would never break that oath, but this quest is insanity.
I love Caolte... or I thought I did. I don't know anymore. All this time, I longed for nothing more than to return to him. But now, I see as never before how long this will truly take. Tillyr needs at least a year to explore our land, and the time grows ever longer as we get dragged off into side-quests and strange journeys. Who is to say that Caolte is truly waiting for me? How can I know? And when I return, who is to say that Riordan will give in? What would stop him from agreeing that I did very well, and then sending me out on yet another hopeless mission, all the while using his influence to convince Caolte into a more acceptable marriage. He may not even have a lot of convincing to do, with me so far away. Hell, I couldn't even blame Caolte for his lack of loyalty, now that I've spoken to Cavan.
I told him everything. The way I feel toward him, my past with Caolte back home... and he is coming with us on our quest. For his own reasons, of course, and we've discussed the fact that I have no idea where my mind will take me. Part of me cannot imagine breaking my loyalty to Caolte, but the rest of me longs so much to just find happiness where it comes. How can I know my heart when I can judge neither against the other fairly? Cavan is here, so near and solid. Always Caolte has seemed like a dream, and more so now that he is far away. Now I wonder whether to forsake that glowing vision for clear reality, and I find that both are almost equally appealing.
Day four aboard the ship. I had always imagined boats as very comfortable, hearing stories of the gentle rocking and lapping of the waves. These tales are entirely false. My stomach hasn't settled since we set foot on this damned thing, and I foresee a very dark journey ahead of us.
I pray to the stars that I survive this damned trip. That's all I care about right now.
Off to the side of the boat again--seeing the sky and feeling the wind makes me feel a bit less sick. Mustn't keep Jovvi waiting--she has been very kind these last few days, always willing to support and comfort me.
The half-elf friend of Renn's is still around--I saw him yesterday. It breaks my heart to see his hair; it reminds me so much of Caolte. A very handsome fellow. Not that it matters. Not really. But I would never have imagined how my heart would ache for touch, for fire in someone's eyes, after only a few months since the last time I saw Caolte.
Everyone fighting.
Renn has freed our hands, and worked out a deal (supposedly) wherein his "employer" will give us safe passage back across the ocean... in return for the last piece of the ruby. Fine by me, but unfortunately not for Jovvi or Jaer (AKA lizard-elf-thing, who has now miraculously re-appeared). This would be bad enough, but Renn and Tavis are also fighting. Nothing unusual there, at least.
And Tillyr is still being held separately from the rest of us. Renn and I went to see her, and she's perfectly happy and comfortable (and happily tormenting some poor human guard with questions). The man in charge here said that his master needed just a few drops of her blood. Renn says we can trust him because he can't lie. I pointed out that his master might have lied to him, but Renn and I decided not to share these thoughts with the others, considering the state the group is already in. I hope we've made the right decision in that.
It's true that Renn has lied to us a few times, but my instincts tell me to trust him now, and where would I be without those? So I'm stuck. Hopefully Jovvi will give up her pride and hand the thing over peacefully, and we can end all of this. I'm eager to put all of this behind me... and return to the seemingly interminable quest to usher Tillyr around the world. Riordan will have to give in then, won't he, if I'm successful? And Caolte will have waited, certainly, and we shall be happy together when all of this is finished.
These things that once were the basis of my every dream... why is it that suddenly they seem so pale and uncertain?
Captured by humans who work with orcs and have nasty little exploding stick-things of metal that shoot holes in people. Well, technically they captured Tillyr and hurt Renn during a battle, so Tavis and I snuck into the city after them. And then Renn followed us. And we were captured just as we snuck out of the tent. Oh, and we found Lazarus, not that it does any of us any good. Especially not since he appears to have been totally brain-washed by these people and given some sort of mind-controlling powers. From what Tillyr says, he remembers nothing of any of us and has been reduced to one-word sentences.
They have the pieces of the stupid ruby now. Amazing lot of good that ought to do--I'm sure they've got lovely plans for those things.
If I ever get home, I don't think I'm ever setting foot outside the Silverwood again.
Everyday that we've been here, it keeps getting stranger and stranger. First, there was the flying goat, then the strange bugs, the orcs who were actually smart~!, and elf-lizards, magical rubies with the power to create and just the other day the strange spectral guy. Not that things back home were that normal either. Not that I had a home. ::Note to self:: If and when I do get back. Get a place to call home. ::end note::
I think I've finnaly gotten used to Caw not being around. Though I swear I keep feeling him. Earlier I felt his presence or something like him coming from one of those strange plant like butterfly things. But just feeling that little bit of Caw has made all the difference for me. I can hardly remember a time when he wasn't with me. When my parents disappeared he was right there, always there for the distraction that I needed to steal bread when I was hungry, or as I got older the random purse. I hope we find each other soon. The feeling of being alone is really starting to get to me. I think my confidence is beginning to wear thin.
We began finding piece of the ruby. For some reason, everyone doesn’t want me hold onto a piece of it. It's not like I would keep it geez~! Make a few jokes and no one trusts you. My skills have really been slipping lately. I messed up so badly on a trap that it broke. It broke to the point where we couldn't get it open. I was so mad I screamed, which in hindsight Miiight not have been the best thing to do. But that's what I get for focusing on my more recently found magical prowess. I'm loosing my other skills, the one's that have kept me alive this long. Really need to do something about that.
Buut I wasn't as bad as Tavis. whoo boy. When he bit into that thing and it exploded I thought he was a goner. And not that I'll ever admit it to anyone. I'd be upset if anything happened to the little ankle biter. At least Ren was looking out for him. Probably would have slit the throat of anyone who looked at them wrong though..
Hrmmm.. that reminds me. Later I need to cast another spell to identify some of the objects we've gotten from the various places we've been. I'm starting to loose the light. And so I'll stop for now that way I don’t' end up loosing my eyesight along with my lock picking skills. blah.
Jovvi Clarion
Mediocre theif and sorceress
The lizard-elf-thing has disappeared. Left a note--his calligraphy is horrible. I should offer to tutor him when (if?) he returns. We have, however, acquired another party-member to temporarily replace him. This new one is a human male caught between life and death, living as a spectre of sorts, and he was once the servant of a wizard of this land. Before all humans in this land were destroyed by the orcs, that is. I'm not the least surprised to find that humans were the ones who'd altered the orcs to their current state, nor that the orcs turned and bit the hand that fed them. Entirely typical of both races, from what I've seen.
Tavis and Renn have moved from 'courting' to just plain 'together.' I, for one, am vastly amused. They make rather a cute couple. Although I was less than enthused when Tavis tried to blow his head off by testing one of the little balls we found by biting it. Thankfully he's all right--he'll just be unconscious for a while, most likely. Tillyr is doing well, I think, and seeming to relish the company of the non-corporeal human. Let her work off some of that insatiable curiosity on him--it'll give the rest of us time to breathe. She's a dear girl, but her questions make my head spin sometimes. Jovvi is still somewhat anguished over missing her familiar, but seems otherwise well and has perked up much in the last days.
Shot a deer for dinner--I'm glad to feel useful for once. This place throws off my senses... I haven't felt myself since we arrived. It certainly doesn't help that I'm forever worrying about what might be going on at home... and thinking about how every extra day we spend here is another day that Tillyr will have to spend exploring our world when we return finally.
By the stars, I miss the Silverwood, my friends and family, and, most of all, Caolte.
~Niamh Nightwind,
Ranger of the Silverwood.
Day 26
Praise be! I was attacked on the road today by what I'm told are orcs. They were very deceptive and took great mirth in manipulating and intimidating me but I refused to raise my hand against them even when they moved to do me harm. It was then that a young woman of about the build and height of a Hinru sprang from the forest lining the road and saved me. She was truly brave and valiant, taking on all of the orcs by herself at horrible risk and danger. Though it was quite violent and shook me, unsettling my stomach, I am dearly grateful to her. We then left the road, thankfully, and I began to travel with her. She in the first humanoid, besides the orcs whom I'm afraid will be a great danger to our people, that I've met as of yet. She tells me that she is an elf, her name Niamh. She is of my height and roughly my build, though decidedly more muscular. Dark hair, gray eyes, fair of complexion, pointed ears though not in the same way as we Hinru. Her armor, weaponry, and clothing are of impeccable craftsmanship and she is very polite, though rather sarcastic and her comments can be rather scathing in regards to "helpless women wandering around without any idea what orcs are" and to orcs themselves. She speaks the elven tongue and her people seem to be the ones who originally created it. She has not heard of the Hinru, for which I am greatly surprised. Surely if any people would have remembered us it would have been the elves for they obviously are the closest of kin we may have outside of the mountains. I must learn more about her people for they carry my best hope as of yet for an alliance. They are intelligent, thoughtful, honorable, and have a deep respect for the natural world though they do not seem to share our distaste of violence. I hope that we may conduct trade with her people, as their goods seem of impeccable make, the like of which I have never seen and am quite jealous of, though I have not told Niamh such. When I began to ask her my questions, she faltered and has offered to take me to visit her clan elder, her "king," that he might know more and be able to better answer my questions. I am very excited and look forward to meeting her people and getting to know her better. Indeed, an excellent way to start my quest. I am hopeful and optimistic that I will be able to accomplish the work given me by the council. Indeed, if all the races are such as the elves I would recommend that we open our doors and rejoin with the other peoples. If the races are akin to the orcs, however, it would be my recommendation that we remain sequestered in the mountains for another millennia.
~Tillyr Winddancer
Druid of the North Hills
Emissary of the Council of the Hinru
(This is from back at the beginning on the campaign because I can't think of anything more creative than this post.)
Day 34,
Today I met my first "halfling." A male, about half my height, dark hair, dark eyes. He has a very unusual accent and speaks the common tongue, like the human I met yesterday. His name is Tavis. He seems quite opinionated and indiscreet and I am concerned that his participation in our journey will cause trouble. He places great worth in the gold coins we all seem to carry, more so than Niamh or Lazerus. I wonder why. They are quite pretty and would make nice jewelry and decorations, but I see little use for them. They are used to conduct trades here. "I'll give you two of my shiny things for that loaf of bread." And they accept them in order to use them to make deals with others in the same manner. It will take getting used to, but I will acclimate myself to their silly customs. Gods, sometimes I wish I were home where things make proper sense. But this is my chosen task and I will not forget my duty to the council and my home. If Tavis is to be considered typical of his race, the halflings strike me and rude, obnoxious, though cute and funny in ways. They are not a reasonable or practicable as the elves, nor as versatile as the humans. They are sometimes fickle and greedy and selfish though endearing. Oddly enough, I enjoy his company and find him to be a valuable friend if only because he lightens the mood and makes me laugh. They may make good trade partners though an alliance with them should be considered carefully before a final decision is made by the council. And, as with the human and the elves, Tavis did not recognize my race. It seems that the world has completely forgotten about the Hinru. A double edged sword to be sure.
~Tillyr Winddancer
Druid of the North Hills
Emissary of the Council of the Hinru